Goat promote. Gabhar or gafr?


 Goat promoted

A DISGRACED British army goat has been reinstated to his rank of lance-corporal after shining on parade. Billy Windsor, mascot of the 1st Battalion The Royal Welsh, was demoted to fusilier – equivalent of private soldier – last June after ruining a parade for the Queen’s birthday at a military base inCyprus, when he ran amok.

In his first public appearance since his demotion, Billy, seven, performed exceptionally and was reinstated by his commanding officer.

Published in: on October 7, 2006 at 2:32 pm  Comments (1)  

Moob Over.


Muffin Tops And Moobs

Updated: 15:01, Monday October 02, 2006 Sky NewsHeiress Paris Hilton has been branded a celebutard, Posh Spice a tanorexic and Johnny Vegas mocked for his moobs, according to a new book.The derogatory phrases are some of the latest terms of abuse in
Celebutard – a blend of celebrity, debutante and retard – would be used to describe a celebrity noted for displays of stupidity.A combination of tan and anorexic – tanorexic – describes someone obsessed with always having a deep tan and keeping themselves ultra-thin.Meanwhile, contracting man and boobs into moobs is the new way to describe a man with breasts or, at least, untoned pecs.Socialite and singer Paris Hilton was branded a celebutard Other entries include muffin top – a roll of flesh hanging over skirts or trousers, especially when the midriff is exposed – and beigism, meaning a boring, middle-of-the-road attitude.The book, I Smirt, You Stooze, They Krump, claims to list words and phrases that have entered the English language.The descriptions are taken from the Collins Word Web which monitors new words.Elaine Higgleton, of HarperCollins, who devised the guide, told the Daily Express: “English is eternally creative and terribly acquisitive.“This has always been the case but we have seen an explosion of words in the past 18 months.”                 More on This Story:

Guide To English Abuse

Updated: 12:28, Monday October 02, 2006The new book I Smirt, You Stooze, They Krump features the latest insults to filter into the English language.They include: :: Lamestreamers – those uninitiated into the world of blogging who use traditional media.:: Stooze – the practice of using introductory interest free periods offered by credit card companies to borrow money to invest elsewhere for profit.:: Basbo – an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO) for the under 10’s.:: Butters – street slang for very ugly girls.:: Krump – to dance in a fast and aggressive style, mimicking a fight but remaining non-violent.:: Pram face – women who walk around with expressions resembling those of young single mothers from deprived backgrounds.:: Sadfab – acronym for ‘single and desperate for a baby’, used for women anxious about the clock ticking.:: Boden man – relatively affluent middle-class man who is disaffected with Blairite Britain (Boden is a catalogue clothes retailer which is supposedly favoured by middle-aged men).:: Ladults – Men aged over 30 still doing the activities they enjoyed as teenagers.:: Band aid baby – a new child to patch up a shaky marriage.:: Smirt – people who flirt while they smoke outside their office buildings or pubs.:: Peacocking – dressing outlandishly as a seduction strategy, as described in Neill Strauss’s book The Game. Sky News

Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 8:15 pm  Comments (1)  

Nicole Ritchie breakout from Buchenwald


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 5:28 pm  Comments (4)  





O’ Chanada

O Chanada, dùthaich nan gaisgeach còir,

Crùn air do cheann de dhuilleag dhearg is òir.

Bho chuan gu cuan le òran binn,

Do chliù nì sinn a luaidh,

Fo dhìon do sgéith tha saorsa ghrinn

Nach spìon an namhaid uainn.

O Chanada, dùrachd ar cridh’,

 Sonas le sìth is maitheas Dhè d’ar tìr.

Sonas le sìth is maitheas Dhè d’ar tìr.


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 5:09 pm  Leave a Comment  

Skibo – Home of the £


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 4:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

Alb-Scotland T-shirt – Scottish Gaelic Thistle Design- EBAY


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 3:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

Take it easy!


Tóg go bog é !

Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 3:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

Boo boopie bee doop!


Long ago and far away, also known as the City of Calgary in 1990, I was
surprised to learn that suddenly and inexplicably I was old. Adding to the
tearful trauma I was exposed in public by a woman of a considerable
vintage that heartless vixen Betty Boop. 

At that time I lived in a bucolic bend of the Elbow River and became a
casual habitué of a trendy Bistro just around the corner. The place had an
edgy Generation X and Next clientele and even at that point the aimless lank
and grizzled hair, piercings, brandings, vicious and vapid tattoos seemed if not
the norm at least common place. But in the happy clatter of Barista and endless
Siesta seemingly any and all of the rancid masses would be served with the same
benign indifference.

One night on my way home and close to Midnight I realized that I was out of
coffee for the morning jolt and slavering at the thought of the Danish breakfast
blend (1/3 Columbian, 1/3 Mocha Java, 1/3 French roast) decided to splurge.

There was a young gal on staff whom I had noticed because of her ungainly
and gloomy persona. It would seem that having determined that face and
figure would never be brought in line to mimic Kate Moss let alone Angelina
Jolie she would flaunt every old fault as a new virtue.

Her hair was dyed a Banshee black and her skin had the tubercular pallor
associated with poisonous mushrooms or an unhappy decade in a mouldy
basement suite. She had an overbite that announced I’ll finish the crust
on this toast before I get to the middle and to highlight a figure that looked
reminiscent of a bag full of antlers she choose a pair of slacker shorts precariously

clinging on her “anterior inferior illiacs”.I had just begun to order when I espied the visage of the infamous Ms. Boop ,tattooed a goodly 5 inches below her belly button, prancing and waving to the
world astride I assume what should have been private parts. 

Well I was gobsmacked and gawked, hopefully with jaw closed, till I
realized that I was being boorish and tried to stammer the rest of my request
by concentrating on her tepid jellyfish eyes. Nope, nobody home.

Mo sh`uile togam Suas is my Alma Mater’s motto and so I lifted my eyes upwards
as per Psalm 121* for succor intoning silently Dear God help me I’m staring at that
kids crotch but some evil serpent whispered she’s showing it off and I furtively glanced down as she rang in the tab.
She’s young enough to be your daughter murmured some higher power and my orbs floated skyward involuntarily.Theres nothing sexual here it’s the grizzly excitement of a self induced car crash whispered the nether voice and I peeked again but now she was walking back to the bins to fill the order and as she moved , so did Betty, pouting and waving legs akimbo and I believe some how, some where Boo boopie bee doop! rang out.

No, no, no!  now I’m having auditory hallucinations and the sweaty clamor of a peep show denizen I knew I must look away or slither into primordial slime. It was time to call on Dear old Dad and Royal Canadian Air Force “Per Ardua Ad Astra”, through adversity to the stars and I clamped my eyes firmly on the ceiling and began to breathe through my nose as slowly as possible.

She slouched to the till, surly and silent, proffered a limp hand and as best I could while staring about desperately like a full blown Tourettes patient I dropped a $20 on the counter, change came from somewhere and clutching my tainted beans I scuttled into the night while her malevolent smirk bore into my back “Silly Old Fart” engraved forever on my heart.


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 5:54 am  Leave a Comment  

The bright side of high fuel prices: Still cheaper than cigarettes


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 5:34 am  Leave a Comment  


‘Sann `a Cataibh a bha mo shinnsearan.


Published in: on October 6, 2006 at 5:10 am  Comments (1)